Over recent years, the requests for unattended cremation has steadily increased. When pre-arranging their own cremation, many comment on how they do not wish to have a funeral to avoid “causing any fuss “and therefore arrange an unattended cremation.
When the person who pre-arranged their own cremation passes away, it is often evident that they had not discussed their wishes with their family members while they had the opportunity. The grieving family members most often feel obligated to follow their loved one’s instructions regarding an unattended cremation, disregarding their own need for a service and closure.
What many fail to realise is the negative impact “not causing a fuss” can have on the surviving family members, by not affording them the opportunity to:
- Acknowledge the reality and finality of a loved one’s death.
- Meet with other loved ones and friends in a place where it is safe to grieve.
- Remember the person who has died as a family/community, sharing in their memories and supporting each other through the grief process.
When advised that a loved one has died, usually we accept the loss in our minds. Over the next few days, once the initial shock starts to subside, we start to process and understand the loss.
Planning a funeral ceremony for a loved one gives opportunity for greater acceptance and understanding.
Getting in touch with a funeral home, planning the service, choosing clothing and viewing the body, all helps with acceptance. Witnessing a coffin being lowered or shrouded from view behind curtains, although confronting, forces us to acknowledge the finality of death.
When meeting with family members to plan a funeral, often we are told, that they had not cried or expressed grief up to that point in time. Whether the service is held in a church, chapel or crematorium, the funeral venue provides us with an accepted venue where the tears can flow freely, where other family and friends not only allow this grieving but allow opportunity to comfort and support each other.
An unattended cremation may appear the easier “no fuss” option, but is it providing closure for your family?
Before pre-arranging your no fuss service, consider speaking with your family and your Newhaven Funerals professional to discuss the options.